Tuesday, August 12, 2014


I woke up, like any other weekday, and rolled out of bed to make my husband's lunch while he freshened up in the bath room. Through the blinds on my patio, I saw a guy getting out of this black, tented truck on the street with a huge headlights. He left the door wide open and walked into his building. Well, after 30 minutes, I thought he wasn't coming back and being the good neighbor I am, I decided to go outside and close his door for him.

Why can't I just mind my own business and be selfish like the rest of the world?

I pranced my considerate behind down the stairs and out the front gate to do my good deed. The moment I touched the handle, a big black german shepherd popped his head up in the back seat, teeth bared and growling. I wanted to run, scream, anything to escape, but I couldn't move. My feet were cemented to the pavement and my voice was trapped in my throat like slow dripping molasses. I swear the dog could hear my heart pounding because his upper lip trembled in tune with its beating.

The beast leaped across the armrest. Hitting me square in the chest, he pinned me to the street and ferociously barked and snarled. Drool and fear were all over my face and I just knew that I was going to die.

He bit me!

My cries of agony did nothing but agitate the monster, and he ripped a giant hole in my robe, damage no doubt that was reserved for me. Adrenaline finally stepped in at the sight of my ruined clothes, and somehow I was able to kick the dog off of me. I stood with my hands in fists and glared at my attacker.

"If you come near me again, I'm going to kick your ass!"

The dog jumped at me. I dodged him and in one graceful move, brought my foot on top of neck, slamming him against the street.

"How do you like it?! Huh?!"
At last I was in control when--

"Step away from the dog and put your hands up!"

Click, click.

To my horror, I came face to face with the barrel of a gun, the owner of the car pointing it directly at me.

"Your dog nearly killed me! Look at my arm!"

"I'm warning you! If you don't comply I'll be forced to act with brute force!"

"Who the hell are you?! This is illegal."

"I'm with the Dallas Police Department, Canine Unit, and you're under arrest for assaulting an officer!"

The next thing I know, I'm in handcuffs and in the back of a squad car. WTF!

No comments:

Post a Comment